An Open Letter to the Friends Who Left Me When I Became a Mom

Dear Friends Who Left Me When I Became a Mom,

I have learned so much since becoming a mom, and the biggest thing I’ve had to deal with was the lack of friends. You all left me, and a part of me understands. The other part of me is really mad at you for doing that to me.

If the roles were reversed, I would’ve made more of an effort than you ever did. I don’t think a “Hey, how are you doing?” text is too much to ask, or at very least you could text me some excuse as to why you’re not coming over, instead of ditching our plans without any explanation whatsoever. Having a child has not made me incapable of being a fun person. There are so many things we could still do, but you don’t even invite me.

But back to the part I do understand…I get it. You don’t want to spend your free time with a crying baby when you could spend your time baby free. You don’t want to make the effort for a “friend” that you have nothing in common with. I’m obsessed with the best diaper brand, my new Ergo carrier, and good deals on baby clothes. You’re obsessed with bonfires surrounded by free beer and “hot” boys.

But someday, when you have children of your own, I think you’ll look back and regret this. I think you’ll wish you would have been there for me when I needed you. Someday when you’re so stressed out because your 5 month old won’t stop crying and you don’t know what to do, I hope you think of me. I felt exactly how you do, I just experienced it a little early.

So I will end it with this: thank you. Thank you for ditching me. Thank you for forgetting I existed. Thank you for those awkward moments of silent when you actually did show up. Mostly, thank you for leaving because with having no one, you’ve given me that little extra push to go make better friends, one who can talk for hours about their baby, ones who keep their plans with me, ones who want me in their life.

Sincerely,

Your Friend With A Baby

 

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