Night Weaning

So, as my son is almost 8 months old, I know that he no longer needs to eat at night. He just shouldn’t be up 5 times a night to nurse. I always just give in to his wanting to nurse at night time because it’s just so much more convenient. Nursing puts him right back to sleep. Nursing if his comfort, and nothing else comforts him that way.

That being said, I just can’t wake up so much. This may sound selfish, but I just can’t. I decided to try to night wean him. It is currently 10:07 and he laid down at 8:30. He wakes up, I’ll let him cry for a couple minutes, then I go in to get him. After I get him, I’ll snuggle him, hold him, rock him, but I won’t nurse him. He ends up falling asleep in my arms because he really is tired. So I lay him down again, but within ten minutes we’re doing the same thing. I wanted to nurse him every other time he woke up, so it’d be a slow weaning. I didn’t want anything too sudden.

I didn’t want it to be like this. I just feel defeated. I hate hearing him cry. It hurts me. I hate waking up and nursing like 37 times a night (yes that’s an exaggeration, but some nights is totally feels like that). I feel sad and tired, and I don’t know what to do for MY baby. That’s quite possibly the worst feeling in the whole world.

I’m writing this because I desperately needed ten minutes worth of distraction. I needed something to take my mind off of my baby’s crying. I feel like a terrible mom, but I don’t know what to do. I just feel awful.

I’m sorry that this blog is kinda blah, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Real Life Motherhood Photos

So I constantly see gorgeous pictures of new moms with skinny bodies. They are holding their new little baby. The baby is sleeping or has a sweet smile on their face. But motherhood isn’t like that, not usually at least. Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s scary, sad, and ugly too.

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Motherhood isn’t always photos like this. Motherhood isn’t a beautiful image capturing this beautiful moment because moments like this don’t happen that often.

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Motherhood is comparing your baby to other babies. Is my baby behind schedule? Do they think I’m a bad mom? are often thoughts that cross my mind.

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Motherhood is doing your best to practice proper car seat safety and still managing to screw it up. Other moms look at you like you’re an awful parent if your baby’s chest clip is 1/32 of an inch off.

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Motherhood is a screaming baby who won’t cooperate when all you want is to get the perfect 1 Month picture.

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Motherhood is cross eyed babies. Don’t worry his face didn’t get stuck like that.

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Motherhood is acne face and no makeup to cover it up.

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Motherhood is the mess of trying to co-parent with someone you don’t always agree with. It’s compromising on the stuff you really don’t want to compromise on.

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Motherhood is a little boy grabbing your phone and screaming until you give it back to him.

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Motherhood is leaving them wherever they fall asleep because there’s no freaking way that you’re going to wake up a sleeping baby.

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Motherhood is days where you don’t want to get off of the couch.

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Motherhood is nursing until your nipples bleed. The idea of giving your little one the best future takes over the pain.

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Motherhood is letting someone slobber all over your camera, just to make them happy.

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Motherhood is spending two hours taking lip stick off of your son because you thought this would be a cute Valentine’s Day picture. It so wasn’t!

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Motherhood is throwing your hair up into a bun because it’s greasy and you didn’t have time to wash it.

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Motherhood is taking the time to make homemade diaper rash cream because you don’t want your son to have loads of chemicals on his precious little booty.

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Motherhood is getting super excited about getting your son and nephew out of their coats after a walk without waking them up!

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Motherhood is spending way too much money on things your little one can’t even thank you for yet.

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So yes, motherhood is beautiful and ugly. It’s perfect and awful. It’s stretch marks and cuddles. It’s happiness and pain. Motherhood is raw. It’s everything, and I would do it all over again for moments like this.

The Guy I Had A Baby With

My boyfriend and I have plenty of issues. I’m a control freak. He’s a people pleaser. I’m always busy. He’s always missing me. I’m always crabby. He’s always tired. He’s always on his phone, and I never sit down. I’m not affectionate. Sometimes I think he’s too affectionate.

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But we are in a relationship. We fight, get mad, are too prideful. Then we kiss, we makeup, we start over. And that’s okay. No relationship can always be good, but we stay together. We work our butts off. We’re in love, and we want each other.

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Sometimes I really think our relationship is messed up. I mean, we’re only juniors in high school with a baby. We don’t live together, and we don’t talk a lot. We’re trying to juggle responsibilities, finances, while being parents under our own parent’s authority.

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We really do have some bad days, sometimes we have bad weeks or even months. It’s like we get caught up in a funk. We start getting mad at each other and hold on to grudges.

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But we always make up. When I get mad, he’ll grab me and pull me in for a hug. He’ll hold my hand when I feel insecure. He’ll call me beautiful when I was carrying extra baby weight. He loves me so deeply.

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So when we’re having a bad day, something always reminds me of the love I have within my wonderful Isaac. Sometimes that reminder is Facebook drama, a cute picture of us, or just staring at my sweet baby boy…and I’m reminded that maybe my situation really isn’t that terrible.

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Maybe our relationship is actually the normal one…with a baby and all.

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And I feel so blessed having this guy as my boyfriend and as a wonderful father to our baby boy!

SEVEN MONTHS OLD

Guess who is SEVEN months old today? Yes, Jayce.

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Oh my goodness! He’s getting cute, but I guess I am a little biased. πŸ˜‰ I swear when I went to go get the sticker for today, knowing that it’s the 10th, I did a double take when I saw “7 months”

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I was like “what happened to the stickers for 3,4,5, and 6 months?”, and then it hit me…my baby really is 7 months. I’m overwhelmed with joy and sadness all at the same time.

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Anyways, Jayce can roll over both ways. He’s getting better and better at sitting up unassisted too. He starting to figure out how to get up on his hands and knees in preparation to crawl.

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We began BLW (learn about it here). He’s tried avocado and banana, and wasn’t thrilled about either. He loves baths (o anything) with mommy, nursing and kisses. He hates tummy still and is not into cuddles.

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He’s my best friend, my partner in crime, my Monkey Jo, and my not so little anymore seven month old. I’m thankful for everyday that I’ve been his mommy, and I wouldn’t change having him for the world.

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My life has gotten richer since his arrival, and I love him. I’m sure the months and years to come will enrich my life just as much as they have already been enriched.

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So here’s to seven months, over half of a year, the best days of my life. Here’s to my baby.

 

All About My First (And Only) Baby

So I saw this cute “All About Your First Baby” question & answer post on Facebook, and I thought it would be fun to share with all of you. It’ll help you get to know my little man and I a little better πŸ™‚

All about your first born!

1. Was your first pregnancy planned? No

2. Were you married? No

3. What was your reaction to finding out? Initially I was scared (especially to tell my family).

4. Were you induced? No, thank God! I actually started having contractions about 9 days before my due date.

5. How old were you? 16 (Yes, that is young)

6. Who did you first tell? I told Isaac (my baby’s dad/my boyfriend) first. We both were worried I was.

7. How did you find out? I took a home pregnancy test…in Wal-Mart.

8. Did you want to find out the sex? Β Yes πŸ™‚ I was too impatient to wait.

9. Due Date? September 17th, 2015

10. Did you deliver early or late? Exactly one week early πŸ™‚

11. Did you have morning sickness? I only threw up a few times (sorry if that’s TMI), but I felt nauseous ALL THE TIME.

12. What did you crave? Milkshakes and Sour Skittles (I love both even when I’m not pregnant though)

13. How many pounds did you gain from your pregnancy? 38 (obviously having a job that gave me free, greasy food didn’t help my 30 lb. or under goal) πŸ˜‰

14. What was the sex of the baby? A sweet baby boy

15. Did you have any complications during labor? Not too much other than Jayce’s head was turned weird, resulting in me getting stuck at 6 cm …I wasn’t pleased when I got checked seven hours later, and I was still only 6 cm dilated.

16. Where did you give birth? ThedaCare

17. How many hours were you in labor? over 40.

18. How much did your baby weigh? 6 lb and 5 oz.

19. What did you name him/her? Jayce Braxton Olson

20. How old is your first born today? He will be seven months old tomorrow. It went by way too fast.

Thanks for letting me share πŸ™‚

A New Routine Means Less Sleep For Me

This is a little bit of a rant. It’s okay to do that, right?!

Jayce and I had a pretty good bedtime routine. I’d getting him ready for bed by putting comfy PJs on him, loading him up with my Gentle Baby Lotion, rubbing Cedarwood on the bottom of his feet. I’d even have the diffuser set up in our bedroom with Gentle Baby, Lavender, or Cedarwood. At 7:00 or 7:30, I’d feed him, and he would pass out eating. This system seemed great, and it bought me a couple hours of school work, laundry, or me time (although me time is way too rare).

But that system seems to have died. 😦 I still try to do the same thing, but he’ll pass out at 7:00 or 7:30, and you better bet that he’s up by 8:00 (yes, a half an hour later), and he wants to play! I’m not a fan of CIO, so I do go in to comfort him right away. He’s not even crabby, so at least I don’t have to worry about that. But the whole not getting anything done does worry me!

Thankfully, my parents have been taking him, so I can get some stuff done. I just feel bad doing that to them every night! And by 9:00 or 9:30 he’s ready for bed anyways! The thing is that I’m ready for bed by 10:00, and I’ll feel way too guilty going to bed if I didn’t get enough day.

Anyways, the moral of the story is that babies are unpredictable, and sometimes you’ve just gotta go with the flow! Oh well, thank you for listening to my little rant. πŸ™‚

 

A Day In The Life Of A Teen Mom

Hi guys,

For those of you who don’t already know…I’m seventeen years old, and I’m the mother of an (almost) seven month old baby boy. I stay home with him, clean the house, do school, and live a crazy life.

Anyways, as any stay-at-home-momma knows, our lives stray far from routine. They’re unpredictable, and you always have to be flexible when it comes to a baby. I’ve compiled a “typical” day in my life. These are real life, low quality photos that I took (so don’t judge me). πŸ™‚

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Jayce lets me know he’s awake! I nurse him in bed with me. Sometimes after his belly is full, he’ll cuddle me, but these times are rare (I’m not happy about it).

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I change Jayce’s diaper, and get him dressed for the day. Usually this isn’t the only outfit he wears because poopy blow outs and spit up are often around here.

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Jayce usually hangs out with Gia & Gipa (my parents) while I make myself something to drink. I usually go for chai or hot chocolate. I’m not too into coffee anymore.

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Jayce spends a couple hours cuddling me or rolling all around our living room πŸ™‚

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While Jayce is playing around, I make breakfast. Oatmeal topped with flax meal, coconut oil, cinnamon, milk, and brown sugar is my favorite. Plus oatmeal, flax meal, and coconut oil boost milk supply.

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Once he starts getting a little cranky, I nurse him. He usually passes out eating, so I’ll lay him down in his pack n’ play or leave him on the couch and just keep an eye on him. He usually naps for about 30 minutes. During that time I work on school work, cleaning, or pumping.

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I like to have a morning snack. This was toffee nut granola, oven roasted almonds, and some chocolate from Easter. People don’t realize how hungry breastfeeding makes you.

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After Jayce wakes up from his short nap, I try to take a shower or bath. Most of the time Jayce just tags along because I know he won’t tolerate being away from his Momma.

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After that, I make lunch. It’s usually leftovers or something easy like this. Canned chicken noodle soup is my go to.

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Then I nurse the little rugrat!

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I try to get some homework done while being a Mommy. That usually doesn’t go quite so well.

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I try to give him a sippy cup with breastmilk while he watches Daniel Tiger, Rugrats, or Praise Baby. I always pray that he’ll take it and that he won’t get it all over himself. Unfortunately, he only likes milk straight from the source.

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I change another diaper.

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I nurse my little love, and he’ll pass out for another short nap.

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After he wakes up, he plays a little more.

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He will usually nurse and pass out for another nap…again just 30 minutes. After he wakes up we spend some more time hanging out, and around this time I eat supper.

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He’ll get another diaper change and feeding before he heads off to bed. He usually wakes up 2-4 times throughout the night.

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The picture above isn’t mine, but I thought that this was pretty cute. I spend the rest of my evening (abour four hours) doing school work til I can’t see, pumping until I’m empty, and letting myself have me time (which is occasionally only)

Being a mom is far from easy, but adding on very little time to myself is even harder. But at the end of the night, I get to see my sweet little baby fast asleep and I know that he’s worth everything.