Today I was walking into Aldi (I love Aldi) wearing Jayce in our Ergo Baby SSC. I was on a mission to get all of the groceries we needed. I had a quarter ready in hand, a comfy baby on my chest, and my cross body bag perfectly placed for easy access. This was an easy shopping trip for us. We found everything we needed and Jayce didn’t make a peep. This makes me sound like one of those moms who have the “perfect” life where everything goes great. Trust me, I’m not one of those moms though.
Every parent has their own form of “helping new moms”. As soon as someone finds out you’re having a baby, they jump on you with “tips” and their opinions. Everyone is so eager to tell you whether or not you should circumcise your son. They want to tell how important it is to breastfeed. They want to tell you all about things because they are “experts”.
I get looks, really dirty looks. People will stare at teen mom me with a baby, and although they don’t usually say anything, I know what they’re thinking. They think I’m irresponsible. They think I have no idea what I’m doing. They feel bad for Jayce that he has such a “sucky” mom. Yes, yes…I do know that not everybody feels this way about teen moms, but way too many people do feel this way.
No matter how long you’ve been a mom and how confident you feel, someone will tell you you’re parenting wrong. I’ve felt this way far too many times. It even reached the point that I would feel too anxious and nervous to go out in public because I was scared someone would be rude. I would get shaky whenever an adult would start watching me. It’s like I could see them thinking “she’s not doing that right…stupid teenager”.
Anyways as I walked out of the store, I had this sassy attitude. I felt so proud of myself for doing everything right. I put all of the groceries in the trunk, brought the cart back, and then got Jayce in his car seat. All was well and all was good. This was the first time I’ve ever had this much confidence in myself and in my abilities as a mother. This was the first time since I had Jayce that I was in public and I didn’t feel anything that I mentioned above.
What this taught me was that no mom really does things perfect. As time went on I think I just quit caring. I didn’t want to fear going out in public. I don’t care if this mom thought I was doing it right or wrong. I don’t care if that mom thought that babywearing was unsafe because I’ve researched it all out. I don’t care if others are convinced that I’m a bad mom just because I’m a teenager.
I guess I just quit caring. I guess I just got confident. I got proud…proud of myself and proud of who I am as a mother.