What She Really Means

So today I had a hair appointment. I was sick of my dull, brown hair (no offense to you stunning or handsome brunettes), but I just needed a change. Isaac came to my house to stay with Jayce (our son) while I went out and primped đŸ˜‰

My hair looked AMAZING (my phenomenal hair stylist deserves all of the credit). When I walked in Jayce and Isaac were sitting on the couch together. They were watching Netflix, and Isaac was staring at the girl on the TV. Isaac didn’t even turn to look at me. I mean, you’d think that looking at his girlfriend who just spent way too much money on pretty blonde locks would attract more attention than the girl on the screen, but no.

He didn’t look. I jumped to conclusions, got mad, and stormed off to the bathroom.It ended up being a misunderstanding the whole time. He was busy looking at Jayce and didn’t think to look at my new hair while I was convinced he was more interested in another girl than me.

That’s when it hit me how different men and women really are which is why I thought a little educational humor for my male readers and just humor for my female readers would be completely appropriate.

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“I have nothing to wear” meaning she really has way too many clothes to choose from. It’s overwhelming having so many clothes without knowing what the right choice is.

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“I’m not that hungry” meaning I’m starving, but I’m trying to be polite. If there isn’t food in front of me within the next five minutes I definitely won’t be this polite though.

go ahead

“Sure…go ahead” meaning “I don’t actually want you to go ahead and hang out with your friends, but I’m trying to tell myself that I’m not jealous”

disappointment

“I’m not mad” meaning “I’m disappointed and hurt. Okay, maybe I am a little mad if a little meant like 9.99996 out of 10 mad”

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“Do you think I’m pretty?” and “Do you think I’m ugly? meaning “Compliment me.”

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“Whatever” meaning “I hope you choke on a meatball and get swallowed by a shark” or something along those lines đŸ˜‰

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“I’m on my way” meaning “I haven’t even left yet.”

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“I’m almost done in the bathroom” meaning “It’ll be like two hours”.

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“Nothing” typically following “What’s wrong?” meaning “Something is totally wrong, but I want you to figure it out YOURSELF”

cuddle

“I’m cold” meaning “I want to cuddle” or “I want you to give me your jacket.”

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“Wow!” meaning “Oh my gosh, how is is even possible for someone to be as stupid as you are right being right now?”

 

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Just A Sick Mom

Being a mom is hard. It’s stressful. There’s time that you want to run away and scream because your baby won’t stop crying. There’s days when you want to abandon everything you believe in because in that moment you have convinced yourself that you “just can’t do it”.

The worst is when you’re sick though. I’m struggling with mastitis…again. My head has been pounding for the past 3 days. I feel like I’m going to throw up. My boob hurts, and the only thing that I want to do is sleep. But I’m a mom.

That means I can’t sleep. That means I get to pretend I’m not sick. That means that when I hike myself to the hospital my baby is coming with me because I can’t find a sitter. That means that when Jayce naps if I choose to take a nap or relax, I’ll end up feeling guilty for not trying to tackling the mess of dirty clothes in my overflowing laundry basket. When my dad comes home for lunch, he will want me to make him lunch, and he’ll complain about the dishes that are not done.

Yeah, being a mom is hard. But never getting to take a break when I feel this crappy is harder.